More presidential punishments

Perhaps rather than relying on Dante to design eternal punishments for our presidents (see post below) we should contrive some appropriate punishments ourselves. To whit:

Truman: Every morning of eternity he wakes up a small Japanese child, looks out at the sunny skies of Nagasaki, and sees a single plane flying slowly towards him. Then a blinding flash and he sees the bodies of his family melting away before him. Next morning he wakes up and sees it all again, and again, and again.

Eisenhower: Construction on I-95 slows his progress to a crawl, every day for eternity. He never gets off.

Johnson: Every morning he is forced to say goodbye to his son as he ships out to Vietnam. Every evening he is greeted by uniformed servicemen informing him that his son was killed in a rice paddy somewhere north of Saigon, his body never recovered.

Nixon: They really are out to get him, every single person he encounters. People trip him as he walks down the street. He buys a newspaper at the corner market, and the cashier tries to overcharge him. The Jews are really trying to contort the unemployment figures to make him look bad.

Ford: He has to pardon every criminal and corrupt politician he meets, regardless of the horrific nature of their crimes. He must read every word of the court transcript outlining their crimes.

Carter: He's stuck in a supermarket, going back and forth between the shelves and the cash registers, and every time he gets to a cash register he sees that the price of his groceries has increased another ten percent. Large photographs of G. William Miller are posted everywhere he looks.

Reagan: He's a Mayan villager in the highlands of Guatemala. Every day the army comes in and kills everyone but him (using an M-1 rifle labeled with an American flag), and he must bury every one of his family members.

Bush I: He's a caddy at the snootiest country club in hell. He is forced to lug a one hundred pound bag of golf clubs around a 36 hole course while an obnoxious plutocrat puts out cigars on his head and mocks his complaints that he can't afford decent health care.

Clinton: Newt Gingrich, Tom DeLay, and every member of Congress who voted to impeach him stand in a line. Moving from left to right, he must blow each one of them. When he gets to the end of the line, he moves back to the start and begins again.

Bush II: FEMA trailer, Ninth Ward. Every day for eternity he looks out at the crumbled remains of the levy that is supposed to protect his corner of the city and wonders why the Army Corps of Engineers hasn't rebuilt it yet. Every day he looks at the radar images of a category 5 hurricane bearing down on him. Every day he scrambles to his rooftop and is made to holler into the wind, "Heckuva job, Brownie!".