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Just heard a country song by Toby Keith about a handyman who's in love with a high class woman, but he doesn't think he's good enough for her. Refrain: "It's just a high maintenance woman / don't want a maintenance man."

I'm inspired! How about:

She don't want a guy with a Ph.D / She's just got a Ph. Me.

I don't want a professor / who can't profess his love for me.

She don't want a professor / just someone to undress her.

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