We call it "life"

With generous funding from Exxon, the Competitive Enterprise Institute has been running ads attacking the global warming "scaremongers" like Al Gore. You can see two of their ads here. Cliffs Notes version: nature scenes, healthy-looking jogger, kids, lots of kids. What do they have in common? They're all exhaling carbon dioxide, which goes into the air and is taken in by trees (forests, beautiful forests) in a wondrous circle of life. Now those evil global warming nazis are calling this pollution. They want to take away all those things that light up your life, move the things you love (kids in minivans). They want to make you ride a bike in the snow! Don't let them do it! They call it pollution - we call it life.

Next up: "Trichinosis: they call it an abdominal infection caused by eating undercooked meat - we call it life!" Scenes of a small child eating a slightly pinkish porkchop; closeup of her stomach acid dissolving the hard covering of the Trichinella cyst, and out pops an adorable crop of tiny worms that slide happily through her arteries and into her muscle tissue. The worms are eventually expelled in a spasm of diarrhea, and thanks to a poorly-designed septic system eventually find their way into some pig feed, where the wondrous cycle of life begins anew. And now those health nazis at the CDC want to put an end to this natural process - our way of life! - by forcing us at gunpoint to cook our meat thoroughly and clean our meat grinders. Never I say, never!

On the drawing board: "Human fecal matter: they call it shit, we call it shinola!"